who i would invite to a dinner party:
1. anaïs nin.
2. vladamir nabokov.
3. heath ledger.
to talk about her diaries/thoughts, to praise him for lolita, to swoon.
Small hands - Keaton Henson
Miss you terribly already,
Miss the space between your eyelids,
where I’d stare through awkward sentences
and avoid through awkward silence.
daughter - youth
And if you’re in love, then you are the lucky one,
‘Cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
To distract our hearts from ever missing them.
"Then I think of you in bed, your tongue half chocolate, half ocean, of the houses that you swing into, of the steel wool hair on your head, of your persistent hands and then how we gnaw at the barrier because we are two."
Anne Sexton, Eighteen Days Without You
These words are delicious.
this is for lovers, running away
be beautiful, be generous, be loving, be raw, be unguarded.
“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.”
"She sat there filled with champagne. She talked about hashish and its effects. I said “I have known such states without hashish. I do not need drugs. I carry all that in myself”. At this she was a little angry. She did not realise that I achieved those states without destroying my mind. My mind must not die, because I am a writer. I am the poet who must see. I am not just the poet who can get drunk on June’s beauty."
The Portable Anais Nin
i achieved those states without destroying my mind
my favourite song.